Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
