Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So many bounce houses so little time
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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