Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
