Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
