I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
