He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
