yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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