so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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