return my video game
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
