Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
