I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
