there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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