my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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