you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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