Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize