yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
