dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
