You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
