i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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