My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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