people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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