He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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