I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
