I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
