4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So here I am, sexting at work.
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