you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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