dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
