Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
