I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
try to milk me bitch
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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