Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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