I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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