I feel like I'm in dance class right now
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
