omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
