True but thats because hes a fetus.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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