Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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