yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I look better un-naked...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
