I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize