One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
