Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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