oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
