he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
