i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
