I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
