He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Randomize
