Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
