I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
