May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
