batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
All the doctor said was why
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
