I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So vagazzling was a success
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
