look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just pee around me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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