he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
