Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
