The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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