she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
