Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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