i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
