i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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