Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
