forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
