y did u give ur computer a hand job?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
