okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
