so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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