just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
